SELF-FORGIVENESS LEADS TO DIVINE FORGIVENESS
I was taught to believe that everything is according to God's will, either in following or deviating from it. But somehow I managed to turn it around and believe I was abused because I had failed God. I have always believed strongly that anything bad that happened was because I was disobeying God and it was my just punishment. Even though I could acknowledge that this was not so in other people's lives. I knew I was forgiven, but it was like there was some sort of catch to it. I felt like I was forgiven as long as I didn't mess up again. And if I did mess up, then all the sins were counted against me again. From my present state of mind, I don't know I how I ever got so twisted in my thinking. I see now that until I wrote that letter forgiving myself, I could never understand true forgiveness from God.
Before I wrote the letter, I blamed and hated myself. During the process of writing it, I felt as if for the first time in my life I was able to see my abuse from the perspective of the abused child instead of a blaming, shaming, angry adult. I knew it was the right thing to do, and I felt a great deal of relief in the process of writing it. I am surprised that I have continued to feel the forgiveness towards myself. I did not expect it to have this lasting an effect.
J. from Morganton, NC (page 1)
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LIBERATION FROM MY OWN GUILT
I started my letter with the intention of letting go of my resentment of someone I have not seen in years. I never realized that it would lead to me releasing my own regrets and feelings of wrongdoing. In fact, until I wrote this letter, I didn't even know I had any guilt over this situation. After all, it seemed pretty obvious to me before, who the "bad guy" in this scenario had been. But the more I searched myself for the words to authentically express my feelings, the more my own culpability showed up. It bubbled up once I stopped being blaming and judgemental.
When I got really honest with myself, I admitted that I, too, had something to apologize for. This surprised me. Underneath all of that self-justified anger and blame sat my own guilty conscience. Maybe the anger has served as a good distraction from the responsibility I needed to take, over my own mistakes. I realize now that if I had not allowed the anger to go, I would not have discovered the shame hiding underneath it. And if I hadn't been able to let that go, I'd still be walking around feeling really bad. I am amazed at the relief I felt after I let it all go through writing my letter. I feel lighter and less burdened by the past. It is truly liberating. I hope others will read my letter and be inspired to experience the same freedom.
The extent to which I feel JOY is greater now than it has ever been in my life as a result of practicing this thing called forgiveness. I think I have discovered the great secret paradox of life. Forgiving everything that I thought made me unhappy, has set me free to finally BE happy.
L. from Hickory, NC (page 4)
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HEALTHIER RELATIONSHIP WITH FORMER SPOUSE
I wrote my letter to my estranged husband. We were married for 20 years. He left me and immediately got involved with another woman. I wrote my letter because I wanted to make amends for the issues and problems I had in our relationship as well as for the way I had been handling our break up. Our relationship had been very strained. I felt like had been unable to have even the simplest conversations.
Seeing my thoughts in black and white in my letter was most uplifting. It was as if I had taken a bucket of water and poured it out not caring whether it went on me or on the ground. It was liberating! When I began to write, the words just seemed to flow from my mind. After I completed my letter and saw it posted on the site, I experienced a continued feeling of release and relief. I do think that it has helped me relate better to my former spouse.
A. from Taylorsville, NC (page 3)
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